I left the auditorium more puzzled than satisfied, though, and my notebook was empty. Subby had spent the entire two hours talking about things like: taking care of ourselves, meditation, drawing boundaries, and being honest with ourselves about our feelings. I was really confused and disappointed, and a part of me was angry and wanted my money back. He definitely hadn't delivered what I was looking for.

Or had he?

Twelve years later (now married for several years- and not to the alcoholic), I came across the ticket stub from the lecture and was jolted into a major realization. Subby certainly had been talking about intimate relationships that night in Providence, but at the time I just didn't "get" it.

But now I really can see and claim the wisdom that his lecture contained: you really can't have a solid, flourishing intimate relationship with someone else if you don't have one with yourself first.

To me, this is what SoulCollage? is all about- delving deeply and sweetly into relationship with ourselves. May we use this sacred process to get to know ourselves intimately, so that we may be in true, right relationship with others.

Try This Today: How's your relationship with your Self going this week? Is there someone in your life with whom you'd like to be more intimate? What can you do to deepen your intimacy with yourself this week so that you can deepen that other relationship as well?